


I am not alone

by PernicoAndCelloIsMyLife



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan
Genre: F/F, F/M, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Male Slash, Mild Language, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-19
Updated: 2014-05-19
Packaged: 2018-01-25 16:25:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1654940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PernicoAndCelloIsMyLife/pseuds/PernicoAndCelloIsMyLife
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Its another lonely night for Nico who is rethinking every thing but, is he as alone as he thinks he is? Percy takes a walk alone through the woods at camp after having a conversation with Annabeth and, stumbles across a certain son of Hades. After they have a conversation of their own will they finally find the company they have been looking for? Slow build. Song-fic. Pernico</p>
            </blockquote>





	I am not alone

**Author's Note:**

> Hello this is my very posting on this website, this is a song-fic with the song "misery loves my company" by Three Days Grace. It is a pernico fic because it are my OTP ship. Takes place a few months after BoO and everyone survived. Please refrain from sending flames but if you must I will send Percy to douse you with water. But please send constructive criticism. You have been warned. I hope you enjoy :)
> 
> Disclaimer: I am not Uncle Rick and I do not own any rights to the song because, if I was I would be sitting on a pile of money while I play my cello thank you very much. :P

 

**_“I am in control_ **

**_I haven’t lost my mind,”_ **

I am Nico Di Angelo, also sometimes referred to as the Prince of shadows. Due to my abilities and my father’s realm. Yeah almost forgot to mention my dad is the Greek god Hades, ruler of the Underworld. But I don't necessarily go around telling that to every (living) person I have the misfortune of communicating with. The reasons are one, because when people see that all I wear is black and the only white in my wardrobe are the skulls on my black T-shirts, some automatically assume I am a spawn of the Devil. Which I don't care because, they would be a hundred percent correct. Second reason, they would think I have lost my mind and send me to the nearest mental hospital. But I have not lost my mind. Although that's what I thought was happening when all this started. But the first time you attempt to summon a skeleton army to attack..."him". You start to realize you haven't completely lost your marbles just yet

. ...ugh, him.

Him, Mr. Perfect. The three time savior of Olympus. The one that every young Demi-god in Camp Half-Blood aspires to be. The guy that when you look him in the eyes you feel like you need a life jacket because , they are the exact color of the crystal clear ocean water's that you would see if you went on to a beach in the Caribbean and you are drowning in them. He has the perfect sun-kissed surfer boy tan. His muscles...mmm, his muscles look as if they were chiseled out of the finest stone in existence and shown off well under his bronze colored skin. His perfect raven colored hair that always looks as if he just got out of bed. Then his way of killing everyone with kindness and, tries to be every ones friend.

Those are just a fraction of the reasons I lo... Hate him.

Percy Jackson.

**_“I am picking up the pieces_ **

**_Of the past you left behind,”_ **

Just in case you didn't figure it out, I have a small crush on Percy.

Ugh, why do I keep lying to myself? Fine I.. I.. Love Percy. The most frustrating part is I don't even begin to know why I would have the most miniscule amount of those feelings for him. Mostly because of all the things he has done to cause me pain. Like the death of my sister, which for a good year I solely blamed him for. But now that I have taken time to think I realize that it was not his fault. That my sister had chosen to deactivate that auto matron in Hephaestus' junk yard to save everyone else. She was being selfless like she had always been. Even with all that said I can't think of Bianca and not feel sad. Because she was the only person I had for all of those years in the Lotus casino and, now she is gone and I only have myself.

_**“I don’t need your condescending** _

_**Words about me looking lonely,”** _

I know I have my half-sister Hazel that is very caring and is always there for me but, she had to move back to Camp Jupiter with her boyfriend Frank, who is Co-praetor of New Rome. Don't get me wrong I am very happy that Hazel moved back to her true home and is able to be with Frank because, I can see how happy he makes her and, how much he loves her. Just thinking of it makes the corners of my mouth twitch up a little bit. Hazel deserves happiness in her life because; she has truly been through a lot. Every time I say something like that she is quick to say that I have gone through the most hardships out of The Seven. But I see it as the way the fates had planned it mainly because, the fates have never liked children of Hades, especially me. So maybe this is what my life was supposed to consist of.

Of me losing my mother, then being stuck in the Lotus Casino for about Seventy years, suffering another loss only this time of my beloved sister, then fight in and help win the Titan war. Then bring Hazel back from the Underworld to Camp Jupiter, for her to take her place in the Prophecy of Seven. Fight my way through the depths of Tartarus only to aid The Seven in finding the Doors of Death and, sealing them shut again. Then take the Athena Parthenos back to Camp Half-Blood and bring peace between the Romans and Greeks. Then go back to Athens to fight in the Giant war in which we left victorious. All the while getting through it with the all-time best motivators, unrequited love and heartbreak. And now the more I sit on the edge of this cliff, that I found on one of my late night walks through the woods at Camp Half-Blood, on the outer boundaries of camp just taking in the sights and sounds of the waves crashing on the rocks below. I feel that the fates want me to jump into the rocky waters and end my life in the most ironic joke ever , by again succumbing to Poseidon's realm. Although it may be the most peaceful and less painful way to go.

_**“I don’t need your arms to hold me** _

_**Cause misery is waiting on me,”** _

I know that if I did end it right here, right now that a few people at the camps would somewhat mourn my death. Also that Hazel would be distraught but, she would move on in time and continue her life of happiness with Frank and, their friends.

I am not at all that afraid of dying, it may be that I have been surrounded by death for years now. Or that I am sure that with all the contributions I made during these past two wars that I will get sent to Elysium. Where I will be reunited with my mother and sister at long last and, we would have eternity to be together as a family, like we used to. The more these thought's flow through my head, the more the soft crash of the waves on the rocks below sound like the song of a siren.

_**“I am not alone** _

_**Not beaten down just yet** _

_**I am not afraid** _

_**Of the voices in my head** _

_**Down the darkest road** _

_**Something follows me …,”** _

But no matter how alluring the calming sounds of the waves crashing against the rocks are, I will not jump, as usual. You see I have sat on this exact same cliff, looked down at these exact same jagged rocks while these same thoughts go through my mind numerous times. Actually to many times to count but, it always results in me doing the exact same thing. Summoning one of the millions of souls from the Underworld and, having conversations with them for hours. Just to take my mind off those undesirable thoughts and talk because, the only people they are going to tell my secrets to are more ghosts so they won't get far. I usually summon souls from the Fields of Asphodel because, the souls from Elysium did not really care about me or my problems at all and, why should they. They had reached a Christians equivalent of heaven (even complete with the big golden gates). And the souls from the Fields of Punishment were too dangerous to summon because, most of them had been murderers and had done despicable things to innocent people. The souls from the Fields of Asphodel however were mostly pleasant. They would listen to me intently and some even went as far as to give me advice which I appreciated. When those conversations came to an end I almost always felt better. So I guess I am not as alone as I had thought and that brought a ghost of a smile to my face. ( **A/N:** No pun intended, I Swear!)

**_“I am not alone_ **

**_Cause misery loves my company_ **

**_(Misery loves my company.)”_ **

I was broken out of my thoughts by the sound of a twig snapping. I spun around with a hand on my stygian iron blade. When I was turned around completely I was met by a pair of mesmerizing sea-green eyes. I quickly turned back around towards the ocean, feeling the heat rising to my face.

"Hey Nico... what are you doing out here?"

"Couldn't sleep."

"Same here. Do you mind if I sit with you?"

"No, not at all." As I said that I was putting all the energy I had into keeping my voice steady. But it was hard because, Percy freaking Jackson was asking to sit next to me. As Percy sunk down to the ground swinging his legs over the cliff, more heat began to rise to my face. Because he was just so close and, when Percy shuffled around a little bit Percy's arm touched my arm. I couldn't stop the shiver that ran down my spine or the feeling of little sparks erupting from the place our skin made contact.

"Sorry about that." Percy said pulling me out of my feeling of bliss because; he knows I usually do not welcome physical contact.

"No, it's fine." I mumbled still trying to hide my blush but, as my unlucky fate would have it he saw my embarrassingly red cheeks. Luckily Percy was still as oblivious as ever. But it did not help when he started going all mother hen on me.

"Are you O.K, are you sick, do you have a fever, you looked flushed?" He asked in a worried tone while he was touching my face feeling for a fever. Which only made me blush a deeper shade of red. I gently pushed his hands away.

"I'm f-fine it's just ... the wind, It's a little c-cold" I mentally slapped myself because; number one I couldn't control myself from stuttering and, number two 'the wind is cold!' Really!? That must be the most idiotic thing I have ever said but, of course it is better than telling him the real reason why my face is red.

"Oh... yeah, I guess it is a little chilly up here."

**_“Leave me in the cold_ **

**_You better run away_ **

**_I’m gonna dig a hole_ **

**_And bury all the memories we’ve made,”_ **

After a few minutes silence passed between us curiosity got the best of me. I just had to ask what was bothering him so much for him to end up here at this time of night. "So... what's bothering you?"

I mean something must be bothering him because; he has not spoken a word in the last five minutes. No offence but you usually couldn't get him to shut up for one minute let alone five. But it was one of his annoying qualities that I found cute.

He sighed “Well... it's kind of a long story,"

"I've got time." I mentally patted myself on the back for stopping at that and, not say anything else stupid. 'Good job self, good job.'

Well, I guess for starters Annabeth broke up with me..."

I was so shocked I couldn't help the stunned look that appeared on my face. Annabeth broke up with Percy? That bitch! I mean sure there is a small part of brain that is throwing the biggest party of the century right now, But then again the rest of my mind is thinking of how heartless she was because, she hurt him. The sea Prince was not supposed to be hurt or sad in any way. He deserves to be happy, that's why I gave up on ever having a chance with Percy because, Annabeth made him happy. Or so I thought...

"Why? I mean I thought you guy's... loved each other?" I cringed a little at the word 'loved'.

"We did but, Tartarus changed us. A lot. She said I wasn't in love with her anymore, which is right, but I still love her as a sister." Percy paused and stared out at the water with sad green-eyes. “I mean it's going to be hard but, she and I can get through this. But there was another big reason she broke up with me. She actually ... doesn't exactly... like guys anymore. Which I have no problem with at all, I actually find it kinda cute because, it turns out she has a crush on Reyna. He-he. It just came as a shock to me at first... and, apparently to you too." He chuckled at my gob smacked facial expression. Which made me blush and lead to him laughing full heartedly at me.

I just couldn't help it I mean I just never saw that coming. I couldn't even think straight, there were so many thoughts swirling around in my head. So I just dropped all of those thoughts because, I was starting to get a headache, and just focused on the view in front of me. A smiling and giggling son of Poseidon, my heart clenched because he was just so beautiful and, his laugh was like the best symphony written... And God's I need to stop thinking like that because, our relationship will always be friends and, only friends, I'm just torturing myself with such thoughts.

**_“I don’t need your condescending_ **

**_Words about me looking lonely_ **

**_I don’t need your arms to hold me_ **

**_Cause misery is waiting on me,"_ **

 After another few minutes he toke my silence as a cue to go on.

“But even that isn't what is bothering me... I mean she said that Tartarus changed me a lot to, which I already knew that. But then she had to go and make it confusing by saying that it had changed me more than I even know at this moment. And then she go's and says that I already like someone else. But I told her that I didn't think that I liked anyone else but, she said it was obvious who I liked and, that if I thought long enough that I would figure it out. I've been thinking all day and it's just frustrating that other people know who I like before I do. And I know this all probably sounds stupid to you and, you don't care about it. And I'm here telling you all this like I'm the only one with problems when I know you have problems of your own, no offence. Now I feel selfish because, I am making you sit here and, listen to all my complaining about my messed up love life. I'm sorry Nico.”

“No, no, it-it's fine. You seem like you’re going through a hard time right now and, I'm happy to help. Also you're not making me do anything, if I really didn't want to listen to what you had to say I would have shadow traveled out of here ten minutes ago." I say with a smirk forming on my lips. With that he chuckles and a bright smile appears on his face. He looks genuinely happy and it causes my heart to flutter in my chest. Then he does something that pleasantly surprises me but, also sends my heart beat speeding out of control and has a deep red blush covering my face.

He covers my right hand with his left, looks into my eyes and, says “Thank you that means a lot to me." But the thing that really sends me reeling is that he continues to stare into my eyes and, I do the same. It was a few minutes of pure bliss but, at the same time I was drowning in those mesmerizing sea-green eyes. I was floating in the middle of the sea without a life boat or even a life jacket. Until I finally cleared my throat to break the trance we were under and, managed to find my voice.

"I-it's n-no p-problem." DAMN that infernal stuttering!!

“Ssooo ... how's you love life?"

existent." I am not letting anything slip, especially to him.

"You must like someone."

"Nope."

"Aw, come on who’s the lucky girl?" He kept egging me on and, it was starting to get under my skin.

"Like I said I don't like anyone." I said in a stern tone of voice.

“Come on, I mean there is like a lot of pretty girls at camp. You can't tell me that you don't have your eye on at least one."

“I don't like anyone! And even if I did it wouldn't be a girl."

... OH.MY.GOD'S. Did I just say that out loud?! SHIT!! I'm Stupid, Stupid, Stupid!! My mind was currently on self-destruct mode. I was pretty sure that if you could die of embarrassment I would already be on the boat with Charon, on my way for the judgment of my soul.

" _Oh_." Then instead of telling me how much of a freak I was or, walking away with a disgusted look on his face. He squeezed my hand and said. "If you're looking for judgment here, you’re not going to find any because... well... I think I have the same opinion."

**_“I am not alone_ **

**_Not beaten down just yet_ **

**_I am not afraid_ **

**_Of the voices in my head_ **

**_Down the darkest road_ **

**_something follows me,”_ **

He couldn't be saying what I think he is saying? Right? And of course I had to ask the most intelligent question I could come up with. "Huh?"

He started scratching the back of his neck in a cute nervous manner. "Well, what I mean is... with all the thinking I have done... I kinda came to the conclusion that I don't really like... uh... like girls in that way anymore. So, I guess you would say... I'm... gay."

No. Freaking. Way. There is no way that he just said that. Percy? Gay? As in into guy's? It is a really great thing that I have self-control because, I used all of it to not jump for joy and, scream at the top of my lungs. _'I might actually have a chance!!' Snap out of it! Why would he want you? You’re just a creepy son of hades, there's tons of other cute guy's at camp he could have.'_ And here is my great self-confidence, the rational part of my brain chiming in. But I just had to ask on thing for my research.

"How can you be sure? I mean do you like someone... now?"

When I looked over at him he was rubbing the back of his neck and, was he blushing? Why?

He let out a nervous laugh "Well, yeah ,I did come to a realization that I like someone."

“Well then, who do you like?"

"Uh... you really wouldn't want to know." He started blushing a deeper shade of red; it was probably the most adorable thing I have ever seen.

“Actually I kinda would because, now I'm curious."

“No, you really don't. So let's just drop it, okay?" He said in a dismissive tone of voice. But I just had to know this way I could punch this other guy in the face for catching my sea Princes eye.

"No! Just drop it." He snapped back, burying his face in his hands.

“No, I want to know! Just tell me and, stop being so stub-"

"Fine! You want to know so badly? It's you okay!? I like you!"

I could not help the shocked look that was etched on my face. I honestly felt like I was on the verge of fainting and, throwing up because, of the butterflies in my stomach. _He likes me! Yes! Thank the god's!_ In between that there was also a mantra of, _Thank you Aphrodite_. Going through my head. Damn, I was so happy I even threw a, _Thank you Cupid_ , in there too. I was just so god's damn happy. I could probably drop dead right now and, be the happiest person on this planet. Just because, he likes me!

“I noticed because now when I look at you I look longer than I probably should. And when we are with each other I have some of the best times. And you make me feel comfortable to be myself around you and, you don't make me feel like I am stupid. And the more I think of it you have always been there for me. But... I understand if you don't want to be around me anymore. Or if you’re mad at m-"

At that point I figured I had nothing to lose. So I grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him into a searing and passionate kiss. It toke him a couple seconds to get over his shock but, after a couple seconds he started kissing back with the same intensity. Not to sound cliché but, it felt like I was floating on a cloud. High above the ground where nothing could hurt us, that the whole world disappeared and it was just him and I. His hands found their way into my black hair and, my arms snaked around his waist. My hands clasped firmly at the small of his back. I wish we could just stay like that forever but, unfortunately our body's needed oxygen.

**_“I am not alone_ **

**_Cause misery loves my company_ **

**_(Misery loves my company)”_ **

When we broke apart we were both panting and, our hearts were beating erratically. I still had my arms around his waist and, he had moved his hands to hold the back of my neck. Our faces were still only a few inches away from each other and we were gazing into each other's eyes. I broke the silence.

“You don't know how long I have waited to hear you say that you had feelings for me. I like you too; in fact I have liked you for a few years’ now. Probably about a year after you found me and ... Bianca. And I know it doesn't make sense with everything that happened and how I have acted towards you. But I really like you; I just thought I would never have a chance with you."

“Oh, Nico I'm sorry. I didn't even notice and.. now I feel like a complete jerk for not noticing you liked me until now. And some time's the way I would treat you as if you couldn't be trusted and-."

“Shh, caro (1), it’s okay I'm not mad at you. I mean it's not like I wanted you to know about it. So I guess I should be a little bit happy that you just found out. But it's fine mio mare principe'(2) I didn't mind waiting because, right now I feel like the happiest person in the universe right now." I punctuated that with a kiss to his adorable nose. I then saw the faint rays of sunlight trying to break through the horizon.

"Well," I said "I guess we should go back to our cabins and get what sleep we can." I smiled at him and he returned it. He then yawned and said "Yeah I'm kind of tired why, with everything that has happened between yesterday and, today." We both blushed slightly at that comment but, I continued to get up and offer my hand. He accepted it happily and, held my hand all the way to his cabin. Due to the fact that today is a Saturday and, we get to sleep in until 10 AM and, it is now 4:30 AM, there was no one awake so the camp looked deserted. It was actually really peaceful. We soon reached the front of his cabin. As I was about to tell him I would see him later and, head to my own cabin, he continued to hold my hand and, lead me up the steps of his cabin. He opened the door and, entered his cabin I hesitated some but, entered as well.

“It’s okay no one will notice if that's what you are worried about. I mean nobody's awake and, later you can just shadow travel back to your cabin if you want."

He let go of my hand then proceeded to take his shoes off and, climb onto his bed. He scooted towards the wall and, patted the empty spot on the bed. When I hesitated he started looking at me with sea-green puppy eyes. _‘Curse him for being so attractive. Ugh. Well what have I got to lose.'_ So I toke off my jacket and hung it over the back of his desk chair and, started taking off my black converse. I put my shoes near the foot-end of the bed then cautiously proceeded to get in the bed next to him.

I was immensely nervous and jittery; my heart was also beating faster. I settled in the bed next to him and, he placed his blanket around us. He then put his arms around my waist and pulled me closer. I started to relax in his arms and, was soon close to falling asleep.

“So Nico, would you like to be my... boyfriend?"

I turned around so I could look him in the eyes. "I thought you'd never ask caro." We shared a chaste but, passionate kiss that made the butterflies in my stomach take flight. We then snuggled closer to each other and, let ourselves fall closer to a deep dreamless sleep with the lasting thought that we are no longer alone with each other’s company.

**_“I am not alone_ **

**_Not beaten down just yet_ **

**_I am not afraid_ **

**_Of the voices in my head_ **

**_Down the darkest road_ **

**_Something follows me_ **

**_I am not alone_ **

**_Cause misery loves my company_ **

**_(Misery loves my company.)”_ **

**Author's Note:**

> Well that was a lot longer than I thought it would be but it was very fun to write because it included the two of my favorite things, pernico and Three Days Grace (they are one of my favorite bands!) I hope you enjoyed it and, don't forget to review and give me feedback pretty please :) Thank you for your time :)
> 
> What Nico said in Italian:  
> (1): my heart  
> (2): My sea prince  
> Kim :P


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